here homework, there homework, everywhere homework...

i see its been a while since my last post. school has kept me busy, as well as house and children (and children includes the husband!)  so far school has been great, but only two tests so far and a couple minor projects.  been busy keeping up with the kids school work.  is it just me, or does block scheduling make it a little harder to keep up with what classes they have when, and whats due on what day?  on the plus side, it gives them two days to do their homework.  the bad side is knowing which two days the have to do said homework.  Oh well, its still pretty new and im sure we will get used to it.  already beginning work on my teen bear's science project.  momma bear isnt quite the physical science guru.  that would be why my major is in the social sciences.  so, the science project is going to be one of the social science nature.  but, the teacher loves the idea and its something my daughter can do most of the work on!  which is great, because i dont do kids science projects for them.  the last time i did a science project, it resulted in a huge orange mess, the ruining of 5 other projects around me at the science fair, and one pissed off teacher handing me a D the following monday morning when handing me back my report.  needless to say, i didnt win any ribbons.  i tried to do it "does the color of the tootsie roll pop make a difference in how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center?" but apparently that wasnt scientific enough.  thats what they get!  the next year, my project on how to make a rubber egg didnt quite work so well either.  apparently, you have to let the egg soak in a vinegar solution for alot longer than an hour.  not good when you drop the not-so-bouncy egg on the teachers foot during the demonstration, to find out that it didnt soak long enough.  wow.  it just occured to me-maybe the teen baby bear gets her destructive nature honestly... aww crap!

dear american girl doll company... i really dont like u anymore!

Dear American Girl Doll Company:

I would like to personally thank you for sending me your catalog in the mail every so often.  Your little circular ads that feature your extremely overpriced dolls and accessories keep my Asperger's daughter occupied for hours-making lists of things she wants me to buy from you.  Really she doesnt need to make the list, as she simply writes everything in the book down on paper, when she can simply hand me the book and say "order this".  The only thing I have ever purchased from you is a measly old doll that cost me an entire day's worth of pay and a 7.00 hair brush that resembles the one I bought for my cat at a petstore for 2 bucks.  Your accessories, while cute and amusing, if i do say so myself, make my accessories look like garbage-not my doll accessories, but MY accessories... Your dolls have nicer things than most adults i know.  Why would i spend 36.00 for pajamas for this doll that contributes absolutely nothing to my home except leaving her overpriced clothing on my floor to get sucked into my vacuum cleaner, when I am too cheap to buy myself a 36.00 pair of pjs?  For what you are asking for this doll to have a dining room table, and all the food and place settings to go on top, I will be spending on purchasing my teen daughter a futon bed.  A real futon bed that she can actually sleep on, not one too small for even the cat to lay on!  Now. Should you start selling automated, self-cleaning cat litter boxes-for big, live kitties and not your stuffed kitties) I would probably need your catalog.  But until then, please stop sending them! My daughter, as i may have mentioned earlier has Asperger's.  Part of this disorder includes developing obsessing with things that interest her.  Toys would fall into that catagory.  Therefore, she will carry around this catalog following me around the house telling me what i need to start saving for, until the pages start to fall out of it.  Then she will proceed to take one of her school folders, empty the important things from it, and stuff the loose pages into said folder for about another 2 weeks.  Or til the point where i have had enough and sneak into her room while she is sleeping and snatch it to throw it away.  Thank you American Girl, for turning me into a mother who desperately steals an item of interest and facination from my young daughter in order to obtain a moments peace.  If you must waste your postage, and send those catalogs to my home, would you mind stuffing them into those black plastic wrappers that some of the girlie magazines send their stuff in? that way i can quickly throw it away before she sees it and the cycle is then repeated! Or else, start sending my daughter free crap (at a risk to your physical well-being, of course!).  Thank you for your assistance in this matter! greedy bastards!

anti-doll momma

cha-cha-changes...

Ok so I wasnt really feeling the whole "domestic goddess" thing on my blog.  Mainly because-well-it sucked.  And, it really wasnt me.  I mean it WAS me, but... well you know what I mean.  Me? Domestic Goddess my ***! I am about as domesticated as most of our kids... ok, so maybe a little more domestic than that.  But something I-like many good moms out there-am really good at... being THE UNCOOL MOM.  You know, the one that wont let her daughter walk out the house looking like a hooker, the one who has no problem reading those thousands of text messages without warning, and the one who thinks that any boy who looks at her girls still has cooties-and tries to her angels about them.  To me, that is FAR more fun than blogging about converting from a working mom to a stay at home/college mom.  Dont get me wrong, those are descriptions of me too, but the boring ones. Just like being the blue-eyed mom, or the mom with a mole.  Really? Why THE UNCOOL MOM?  Because I am the one who sits at the table with my daughter who is struggling with math and laughs because I said "What's the problem?"  (hehe get it? whats the problem? its math?) And by the way, it IS possible to embarrass your teen within the comforts of your own home! And I am the one who picks her up from skating with her friends when i am wearing pj shorts, a tanktop, flip flops, frizzy hair and unshaven legs.  If I look neat, I will just have her come outside.  But when I am homely looking is when it becomes fun to walk into the skating rink to spy on her.  Hey, moms have to get their kicks somehow! Consider it payback for the multiple times they go in public with you with mix-matched neon socks!

Poll Results...

I am sure not many of my few viewers have noticed, but there is a poll to the right of the page! The first poll was about "Who would you like to see in the White House in 2012".  The poll has closed, and we have a three way tie... Congrats to Jimmy Buffett, The creators of South Park, and an outspoken mom with PMS!  You all won with a whopping 2 votes each!  (are you kidding me?  if you people vote like this during a real election, we will end up with Ba-roke (sounds like broke) Obama in office again!  Do any of us REALLY want that?)  Just like real elections, this is a place where your votes are strictly for entertainment purposes!  So, with that being said, and my entertainment itch being scratched, I vote that an outspoken mom with pms become the new president!  We need someone pissed off, blunt, and tired of the BS to get in office and boot all the morons out! 

anyway. i will be changing the poll today to something new.  just in case you wanted to know!

hahahahaha! oh my- please stop! my ribcage hurts!

Whoever decided to post karaoke videos to youtube is both my hero and my enemy simultaneously.  Not only am I being forced to listen to Papa Bear belt out chalkboard-like covers of Save a horse, ride a cowboy, but also also chill bump-inducing versions of old Eddie Money songs...and I dont mean the chill bumps from a song so beautiful it just catches you by suprise.  Its more like a horror movie kind of chill bump.

However, I must say that among this torture, I have heard some very-um-interesting versions of some other songs that you all may love to hear.  As soon as I figure out how, I fully intend to post them on here.  They are not videos, but WMA (music) files. But I promise you all, the sound is equally as interesting as the visual!