The smell of gunpowder from previously exploded firecrackers, cheap champaigne, and the endless mail advertisements for the nearest 24 hour gym are all good signs of another year coming to a close. Now is the time people all over sit down with pen and paper in hand and write their lists of things they plan to accomplish or initiate before the end of a new year. I, personally, seem to think of these resolutions as somewhat of a let down. Especially when circumstances arise beyond our control that prevent us from acheiving these goals. So, I decided to do something a little different this year. This year, I decided to create what I like to call a "New Year's Anti-Resolution" list. You are reading it right. Its a list of things I plan on NOT doing this year. Circumstances beyond our control can keep us from DOING something, but less likely to keep us from NOT DOING something. But, this wont be as easy as it sounds... I know, I do like shortcuts when possible, but this isnt quite a short cut. The rule is, it cant be things I dont do anyway. Just read my list and you will see what I mean. If any readers want to post an anti-resolution of their own in the comments, feel free-but dont worry, I wont hold your first born in case you break your anti-resolution! Have a great New Year!
1. Although I am not a "huggy" or "lovey" type person, I will do my best to NOT hesitate to let those I care about know that I care.
2. I will NOT waste as much time as I used to. I would say I would try to manage my time better, but then that would defeat the purpose of an Anti-Resolution list...
3. I will NOT avoid making contact with the elliptical from time to time. More than just dusting it off or moving it to sweep around it, but actually possibly using it the way it was designed.
4. I will NOT promise to go on a diet, but instead attempt to make lifestyle changes that are healthier than my existing lifestyle.
5. I will NOT avoid building on my current faith in Christ. I will NOT remain content with the current 'time to time' relationship we have.
6. I will NOT allow myself to always resort to procrastination. (in other words, I will attempt to stop procrastinating, but this too is defiant of the anti-resolution concept)
7. I will NOT allow my anxiety control my ability to find a new church home.
8. I will NOT allow things that normally bother me, to always get the best of my thoughts and reactions.
9. I will NOT clutter my head with judgements of my own actions, or the actions of others, as I know that no one can say for 100% certain what they would or wouldnt do in another persons shoes.
10. I will NOT be hard on myself when I dont feel like I "measure up" as a mom, student, wife, or friend.
11. I will NOT compare myself with my friends and how they handle similar things. I am not them, nor they me. Everyone views life differently, and thats ok. All I know is what I have learned from my own seat in the classroom. I couldnt tell you what they see from their chair. Doesnt mean I wont listen to insight from where they sit, but doesnt mean I have to act accordingly.
12. I will NOT put myself in a position to feel 'superior' to anyone. This is something I have always tried to do, but hey... we are all guilty of it at some time or another. Just because I make some superior choices, doesnt mean I am superior.
13. I will NOT sit aside and wish for an opportunity to do work on God's behalf. Opportunities dont just fall in our laps, right?
14. I will NOT hesitate to brush the dog's teeth-whether he likes it or not. I will also NOT trim his claws myself whenever possible!
15. I will NOT keep letting my clothes pile up all the time to where I spend hours on end trying to fold and put away piles and piles of clothes!
speaking of number 15, that reminds me that its time to wrap this list up. I think 15 is a good list, huh? If not, well you all will have to suck it up as its all I have at the time. Nothing too significant, and nothing on this list is impossible-so long as i seek the right source for help. Good luck with your lists and would love to see what some of you put! I may borrow a few if I feel like I could benefit too!
Friday, December 30, 2011
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Things I have learned so far about being a mom, from my friends...
Ever hear the old saying, "It takes a village to raise a child?" I believe that there has never been a time in our society that this saying could bear more truth, than today. With all the advances in technology, and in lifestyles of all different kinds of families, kids these days have so many influences and access to things we could never dream of as kids ourselves. No wonder we, as moms-or dads-have to look out for one another these days. As one, its like 3 full time jobs, but as a team its much easier. Being a mom who began this interesting adventure of motherhood at a very young age of 19, and being one whose closest friends began at even earlier ages, I have seen the village mentality applied to raising children, and while none of us ever claim to have it all figured out ourselves, I can honestly say that we all have something positive to bring to the table. Even at our worst, we are still giving it our best. And so far, I have observed a mixture of parenting styles that each offer their own special "something" to our (as we refer to it) friend-family that every parent-guy or girl-could use. Some moms utilize spiritual beliefs to help guide them, some have just learned from the negatives they experienced in their childhoods and know what they don't want in their homes. Some are mellow and more rational, and some are not. We all realize that parenting is often easier from the outside looking in. Usually due to the things that the 'insiders' either cant see or refuse to see due to their vested interests. We all have learned not to judge the actions of other moms as we dont know how we would do things if in their positions. We all have something, major or minor, that we can look back on and say "i would so do that differently". So I have composed a list of sorts, that explain some of my observations from myself and friends that may offer some guidance. There is no professional impact on this-except that we are all professional moms. This list is dedicated to my dearsest friends, and even some acquaintances, who are the most awesome moms I know. Those who have helped me and those I have helped. Though, all too often, I have felt that I have been on the receiving end than the giving! LOL So, here goes:
1. Although we all know that kids need a parent who doesn't try to be their friend, sometimes, kids do. Sometimes they need to know that they can have a trusted adult who will listen non-judgementally and will occasionally advise them in the best way possible. If a parent cant be that person, its good to have someone on hand who can be. Preferrably, someone that child respects.
2. No matter how much you want to try, you cannot control all the decisions your teenager (or almost teenager) makes. They do eventually have to learn how to make their own decisions. However you DO reserve the right to make sure they see that there are consequences to all decisions. Whether they be positive or negative consequences, that power can definitely be in your hands. But no worries, sometimes, natural consequences will do the work for you!
3. Prioritize your arguements. Before you start hounding your children over little details that may be a fad, that they may actually grow out of it. Would you rather waste your time arguing over the fact that their shoes match their hair, or the fact that they want to date a guy 4 years older than them? Sometimes, you just cant have both. Choose what you can live with and draw the line... then stick to it! Yes, you may have to bite your tongue so much that you lose your sense of taste permanently, but your kids will be more likely to listen.
4. If your child makes a mistake, they cant undo it. And remember, as parents, we all make mistakes all the time. If we as adults cant be mistake free-how could we expect them to be? And before you try to tell me you are perfect, let me just call you a LIAR! Mistakes are part of life. We can either learn from them, or we can ignore them and allow them to eat us alive. Its better to take a deep breath THEN deal with the problem. IN THAT ORDER! Sequence makes a huge difference!
5. Always expect the best from them. If they fall short, look at your standards and make sure they are realistic. If they are, dont back down. Dont except half-ass. If they arent realistic, then maybe tweek them just a hair.
6. Moms arent the only ones who make the messes, and moms arent the only ones capable of cleaning them up. (dads too) the only way for a home to run smoothly, is for everyone to do their part. I type this as I look at the mess in my house! And I think of the nice and tidy home of my OCD friend who has three kids vs my two. She doesnt play around! Yes, I am studying her techniques, slowly but surely! There is NO shame in cracking that whip! but just remember one thing. God gave man the ability to invent the door for a reason. So long as there is nothing living in their rooms and there is no ungodly smell melting the windows down, that door can actually come in handy. that and a gentle threat of privileges!
7. Its always good to keep a sense of humor in your back pocket. Sometimes bringing out the kid in you can be good thing! Not only does it keep you grounded, it lets your kids know that sometimes its ok to still be a kid themselves. In this world where they are often forced to grow up too fast, this is a necessity. Of course, all good things in moderation!
8. Kids have emotions just like us. However, they dont necessarily have the tools just yet to know how to deal with them. Us adults, however, do-or should. So its best to remember that we are the adults and they are the kids. This is not the time to let the kid in us show. But have no fear or shame in correcting a childs expression of emotion if they become rude or disrespectful. Respect is something earned and not just given, but simultaneously, how can they expect to be respected if they dont earn it. Teach them by backing away when you feel you have been pushed too far, until you have calmed down enough to try and talk to them. Or if they are being irrational, explain to them that you will be happy to talk to them normally when they can calm down. The one thing I try to explain to my daughter is that I dont always claim to react to things the right way. But I will try my best and have no problem admitting when I am wrong, and I expect the same from her. Lets them know that parents also can be imperfect.
9. Its good to keep friends close by. They help remind you of who you are aside from being a parent and a spouse. Especially if they are in the same position as you. Heck, you never know-they may actually need you more! The friends that are most helpful will not only offer advice, but they will know when its needed and when its just an ear you need. They will laugh with you, cry with you, step in and help out when you are about to flip out. They are just the most important necessity.
10. Faith is a must. Regardless of who you worship or how you worship, you need to have that faith that your higher power will help you through. And that if we fall, our higher power will help us back up and lead us to the right path.
11. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Need I really say more on that one?
12. When given the choice of staying home with your newborns or going back to work in order to pay off bills so that you can stay home with your school aged kids and teenagers, go with the latter of the two. Your newborns dont need you like you think they do. As long as the person who is with them during the day keeps structure and interacts with them daily, then they dont care who is there to change their diapers and dice up their hotdogs. But as they get into school-especially the older grades-like 4th through 8th grades-this is when you will be the most needed. If you have the luxury of staying home through it all, then consider yourself blessed. But if not, choose wisely!
13. And try to feed your kids everything at least once. Even if you wouldnt eat it, let them decide if they like it or not. Dont make faces or say eww before they get the spoon to their mouth because they will decide before ever tasting. If you do this, expect picky eaters! Lesson learned the hard way from this mom!
There are dozens more observations that I cant think of right off, and there are doesnts more that i have yet to observe. As I do, I will do my best to share. Remember that while people may offer advice, you have to do whats best for you. And by all means, do NOT compare your kids to others kids. Its a really good way to give a child a complex! JMHO!
1. Although we all know that kids need a parent who doesn't try to be their friend, sometimes, kids do. Sometimes they need to know that they can have a trusted adult who will listen non-judgementally and will occasionally advise them in the best way possible. If a parent cant be that person, its good to have someone on hand who can be. Preferrably, someone that child respects.
2. No matter how much you want to try, you cannot control all the decisions your teenager (or almost teenager) makes. They do eventually have to learn how to make their own decisions. However you DO reserve the right to make sure they see that there are consequences to all decisions. Whether they be positive or negative consequences, that power can definitely be in your hands. But no worries, sometimes, natural consequences will do the work for you!
3. Prioritize your arguements. Before you start hounding your children over little details that may be a fad, that they may actually grow out of it. Would you rather waste your time arguing over the fact that their shoes match their hair, or the fact that they want to date a guy 4 years older than them? Sometimes, you just cant have both. Choose what you can live with and draw the line... then stick to it! Yes, you may have to bite your tongue so much that you lose your sense of taste permanently, but your kids will be more likely to listen.
4. If your child makes a mistake, they cant undo it. And remember, as parents, we all make mistakes all the time. If we as adults cant be mistake free-how could we expect them to be? And before you try to tell me you are perfect, let me just call you a LIAR! Mistakes are part of life. We can either learn from them, or we can ignore them and allow them to eat us alive. Its better to take a deep breath THEN deal with the problem. IN THAT ORDER! Sequence makes a huge difference!
5. Always expect the best from them. If they fall short, look at your standards and make sure they are realistic. If they are, dont back down. Dont except half-ass. If they arent realistic, then maybe tweek them just a hair.
6. Moms arent the only ones who make the messes, and moms arent the only ones capable of cleaning them up. (dads too) the only way for a home to run smoothly, is for everyone to do their part. I type this as I look at the mess in my house! And I think of the nice and tidy home of my OCD friend who has three kids vs my two. She doesnt play around! Yes, I am studying her techniques, slowly but surely! There is NO shame in cracking that whip! but just remember one thing. God gave man the ability to invent the door for a reason. So long as there is nothing living in their rooms and there is no ungodly smell melting the windows down, that door can actually come in handy. that and a gentle threat of privileges!
7. Its always good to keep a sense of humor in your back pocket. Sometimes bringing out the kid in you can be good thing! Not only does it keep you grounded, it lets your kids know that sometimes its ok to still be a kid themselves. In this world where they are often forced to grow up too fast, this is a necessity. Of course, all good things in moderation!
8. Kids have emotions just like us. However, they dont necessarily have the tools just yet to know how to deal with them. Us adults, however, do-or should. So its best to remember that we are the adults and they are the kids. This is not the time to let the kid in us show. But have no fear or shame in correcting a childs expression of emotion if they become rude or disrespectful. Respect is something earned and not just given, but simultaneously, how can they expect to be respected if they dont earn it. Teach them by backing away when you feel you have been pushed too far, until you have calmed down enough to try and talk to them. Or if they are being irrational, explain to them that you will be happy to talk to them normally when they can calm down. The one thing I try to explain to my daughter is that I dont always claim to react to things the right way. But I will try my best and have no problem admitting when I am wrong, and I expect the same from her. Lets them know that parents also can be imperfect.
9. Its good to keep friends close by. They help remind you of who you are aside from being a parent and a spouse. Especially if they are in the same position as you. Heck, you never know-they may actually need you more! The friends that are most helpful will not only offer advice, but they will know when its needed and when its just an ear you need. They will laugh with you, cry with you, step in and help out when you are about to flip out. They are just the most important necessity.
10. Faith is a must. Regardless of who you worship or how you worship, you need to have that faith that your higher power will help you through. And that if we fall, our higher power will help us back up and lead us to the right path.
11. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Need I really say more on that one?
12. When given the choice of staying home with your newborns or going back to work in order to pay off bills so that you can stay home with your school aged kids and teenagers, go with the latter of the two. Your newborns dont need you like you think they do. As long as the person who is with them during the day keeps structure and interacts with them daily, then they dont care who is there to change their diapers and dice up their hotdogs. But as they get into school-especially the older grades-like 4th through 8th grades-this is when you will be the most needed. If you have the luxury of staying home through it all, then consider yourself blessed. But if not, choose wisely!
13. And try to feed your kids everything at least once. Even if you wouldnt eat it, let them decide if they like it or not. Dont make faces or say eww before they get the spoon to their mouth because they will decide before ever tasting. If you do this, expect picky eaters! Lesson learned the hard way from this mom!
There are dozens more observations that I cant think of right off, and there are doesnts more that i have yet to observe. As I do, I will do my best to share. Remember that while people may offer advice, you have to do whats best for you. And by all means, do NOT compare your kids to others kids. Its a really good way to give a child a complex! JMHO!
Thursday, October 20, 2011
drama junkies-we are breeding only the best, right here in the US!
Wow! its been awhile! School has kept me busy! but so far so good! two A's and two B's! but decided to post before i get back to studying and terrorizing children (after all, isnt that what us uncool moms do best?) after doing my random spying on my daughters facebook... and yes she knows i do it. she had to agree to it before i gave it back to her, because she has to prove she can conduct herself properly before she can have full access (more than an hour a day) first. anyway, as i was saying-as i was spying, i realized something. The next generation of young girls growing up scares me a little bit. now before you get your two-sizes-two-small thongs in a bunch, just hear me out. this isnt directed at one child in general. this is to all of them. has tv and music and movies really warped our view of how we want our daughters to conduct themselves this much? i knew girls in their early teens were catty, but holy cow! these girls-someone even says something on a mutual friend's post and kitty cat-um i mean girl-#2 is going to get all up in the koolaid for no reason and just attempt to make the first kid look like crap! why? why do they enjoy feeding off of drama like its a drug? maybe its because society is feeding it to them in various forms at such a young age, and they are hooked so young. somewhat like alcohol. there is a reason they dont give it to kids. just like adults, majority of kids could probably have a few drinks from time to time and be ok. but research has proven that an overwhelming majority cannot handle that without developing a full blown addiction, because their minds are still forming-as well as their physical bodies. the only difference between adults and kids is that adults SHOULD know a little bit better about the responsibilities that come with drinking than kids do. *note the use of the word SHOULD! I have a new term (well new to me anyway). i call them drama-junkies. those who arent satisfied with life without having to get the last word in, those who thrive off talking to someone like crap just to see how far they can push the drama. the ones who cant live one day without thinking people are out to start crap with them-or cant live one day without starting crap with others. i am starting to think that maybe, just MAYBE, the amount of bullying (be it over popularity, orientation-whatever the lame excuse for bullying you can come up with is) would probably slack off a little when we as adults, PARENTS change a few things. ok. first-who cares if someone is trying to look at your facebook page a dozen times a day. if they harrass you, block them, report them to the police, etc etc. if they dont, facebook makes security features for that. look em up. #2-stop using the tv to babysit your kids. however, if you are going to let the big noisey box babysit them, try to pick quality programing for them to watch. if you never get them started on the drama, they wont need to feed the addiction! and im sorry dear moms-16 and pregnant, teenage moms, real housewives of whatever thug infested big city they are being filmed in, is most certainly NOT quality television. no, the kids will not get to see what life is really like for a 16 year old mom because the average 16 year old mom doesnt have a tv crew following them around 24/7, getting paid and having the needs of their children met by tv producers as long as the ratings are good. even some of the cute shows we watch on disney, nickelodeon-all the channels we loved as kids-are humorously teaching kids how to disrespect each other (and adults). dont get me wrong. there could be things waaaay worse than some of these shows. and i wont lie-i have watched iCarly with my daughters many of times, and i have caught myself and my husband, who would deny it to no end, laughing quite a bit at it. what can we say, its a pretty funny show. but tv producers, can we please tone it down a little bit? parents, could we please take some initiative? teach your daughters to treat their bodies (first and foremost) with respect, and secondly, teach them to treat each others with respect. they dont have to like everything that their peers have to say. and yes, they have to learn to resolve certain issues on their own. but lets not allow "it's just apart of their age and learning" to justify being rude, or... well... Bitches. there i said it. we are raising a generation of bitches. i normally wouldnt condone cussing on my blog-mostly because its an embarrassing and ugly habit i have in person, but two because i am a christian, and sometimes i have a good message to share. why fog it all up with foul language, and risk not being taken seriously as a christian. however, that is the best word i can use to describe teenage girls between the ages of 12 and 15 these days. i, for one, refuse to teach my daughter how to be one. whew. now that i have that off my chest, its back to studying! :) maybe next time, i will write on my thoughts of how the world of social networking (as much as i love me some facebook) seems to be creating a world full of narcissists. until then!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
here homework, there homework, everywhere homework...
i see its been a while since my last post. school has kept me busy, as well as house and children (and children includes the husband!) so far school has been great, but only two tests so far and a couple minor projects. been busy keeping up with the kids school work. is it just me, or does block scheduling make it a little harder to keep up with what classes they have when, and whats due on what day? on the plus side, it gives them two days to do their homework. the bad side is knowing which two days the have to do said homework. Oh well, its still pretty new and im sure we will get used to it. already beginning work on my teen bear's science project. momma bear isnt quite the physical science guru. that would be why my major is in the social sciences. so, the science project is going to be one of the social science nature. but, the teacher loves the idea and its something my daughter can do most of the work on! which is great, because i dont do kids science projects for them. the last time i did a science project, it resulted in a huge orange mess, the ruining of 5 other projects around me at the science fair, and one pissed off teacher handing me a D the following monday morning when handing me back my report. needless to say, i didnt win any ribbons. i tried to do it "does the color of the tootsie roll pop make a difference in how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center?" but apparently that wasnt scientific enough. thats what they get! the next year, my project on how to make a rubber egg didnt quite work so well either. apparently, you have to let the egg soak in a vinegar solution for alot longer than an hour. not good when you drop the not-so-bouncy egg on the teachers foot during the demonstration, to find out that it didnt soak long enough. wow. it just occured to me-maybe the teen baby bear gets her destructive nature honestly... aww crap!
Sunday, September 4, 2011
dear american girl doll company... i really dont like u anymore!
Dear American Girl Doll Company:
I would like to personally thank you for sending me your catalog in the mail every so often. Your little circular ads that feature your extremely overpriced dolls and accessories keep my Asperger's daughter occupied for hours-making lists of things she wants me to buy from you. Really she doesnt need to make the list, as she simply writes everything in the book down on paper, when she can simply hand me the book and say "order this". The only thing I have ever purchased from you is a measly old doll that cost me an entire day's worth of pay and a 7.00 hair brush that resembles the one I bought for my cat at a petstore for 2 bucks. Your accessories, while cute and amusing, if i do say so myself, make my accessories look like garbage-not my doll accessories, but MY accessories... Your dolls have nicer things than most adults i know. Why would i spend 36.00 for pajamas for this doll that contributes absolutely nothing to my home except leaving her overpriced clothing on my floor to get sucked into my vacuum cleaner, when I am too cheap to buy myself a 36.00 pair of pjs? For what you are asking for this doll to have a dining room table, and all the food and place settings to go on top, I will be spending on purchasing my teen daughter a futon bed. A real futon bed that she can actually sleep on, not one too small for even the cat to lay on! Now. Should you start selling automated, self-cleaning cat litter boxes-for big, live kitties and not your stuffed kitties) I would probably need your catalog. But until then, please stop sending them! My daughter, as i may have mentioned earlier has Asperger's. Part of this disorder includes developing obsessing with things that interest her. Toys would fall into that catagory. Therefore, she will carry around this catalog following me around the house telling me what i need to start saving for, until the pages start to fall out of it. Then she will proceed to take one of her school folders, empty the important things from it, and stuff the loose pages into said folder for about another 2 weeks. Or til the point where i have had enough and sneak into her room while she is sleeping and snatch it to throw it away. Thank you American Girl, for turning me into a mother who desperately steals an item of interest and facination from my young daughter in order to obtain a moments peace. If you must waste your postage, and send those catalogs to my home, would you mind stuffing them into those black plastic wrappers that some of the girlie magazines send their stuff in? that way i can quickly throw it away before she sees it and the cycle is then repeated! Or else, start sending my daughter free crap (at a risk to your physical well-being, of course!). Thank you for your assistance in this matter! greedy bastards!
anti-doll momma
I would like to personally thank you for sending me your catalog in the mail every so often. Your little circular ads that feature your extremely overpriced dolls and accessories keep my Asperger's daughter occupied for hours-making lists of things she wants me to buy from you. Really she doesnt need to make the list, as she simply writes everything in the book down on paper, when she can simply hand me the book and say "order this". The only thing I have ever purchased from you is a measly old doll that cost me an entire day's worth of pay and a 7.00 hair brush that resembles the one I bought for my cat at a petstore for 2 bucks. Your accessories, while cute and amusing, if i do say so myself, make my accessories look like garbage-not my doll accessories, but MY accessories... Your dolls have nicer things than most adults i know. Why would i spend 36.00 for pajamas for this doll that contributes absolutely nothing to my home except leaving her overpriced clothing on my floor to get sucked into my vacuum cleaner, when I am too cheap to buy myself a 36.00 pair of pjs? For what you are asking for this doll to have a dining room table, and all the food and place settings to go on top, I will be spending on purchasing my teen daughter a futon bed. A real futon bed that she can actually sleep on, not one too small for even the cat to lay on! Now. Should you start selling automated, self-cleaning cat litter boxes-for big, live kitties and not your stuffed kitties) I would probably need your catalog. But until then, please stop sending them! My daughter, as i may have mentioned earlier has Asperger's. Part of this disorder includes developing obsessing with things that interest her. Toys would fall into that catagory. Therefore, she will carry around this catalog following me around the house telling me what i need to start saving for, until the pages start to fall out of it. Then she will proceed to take one of her school folders, empty the important things from it, and stuff the loose pages into said folder for about another 2 weeks. Or til the point where i have had enough and sneak into her room while she is sleeping and snatch it to throw it away. Thank you American Girl, for turning me into a mother who desperately steals an item of interest and facination from my young daughter in order to obtain a moments peace. If you must waste your postage, and send those catalogs to my home, would you mind stuffing them into those black plastic wrappers that some of the girlie magazines send their stuff in? that way i can quickly throw it away before she sees it and the cycle is then repeated! Or else, start sending my daughter free crap (at a risk to your physical well-being, of course!). Thank you for your assistance in this matter! greedy bastards!
anti-doll momma
Friday, September 2, 2011
cha-cha-changes...
Ok so I wasnt really feeling the whole "domestic goddess" thing on my blog. Mainly because-well-it sucked. And, it really wasnt me. I mean it WAS me, but... well you know what I mean. Me? Domestic Goddess my ***! I am about as domesticated as most of our kids... ok, so maybe a little more domestic than that. But something I-like many good moms out there-am really good at... being THE UNCOOL MOM. You know, the one that wont let her daughter walk out the house looking like a hooker, the one who has no problem reading those thousands of text messages without warning, and the one who thinks that any boy who looks at her girls still has cooties-and tries to her angels about them. To me, that is FAR more fun than blogging about converting from a working mom to a stay at home/college mom. Dont get me wrong, those are descriptions of me too, but the boring ones. Just like being the blue-eyed mom, or the mom with a mole. Really? Why THE UNCOOL MOM? Because I am the one who sits at the table with my daughter who is struggling with math and laughs because I said "What's the problem?" (hehe get it? whats the problem? its math?) And by the way, it IS possible to embarrass your teen within the comforts of your own home! And I am the one who picks her up from skating with her friends when i am wearing pj shorts, a tanktop, flip flops, frizzy hair and unshaven legs. If I look neat, I will just have her come outside. But when I am homely looking is when it becomes fun to walk into the skating rink to spy on her. Hey, moms have to get their kicks somehow! Consider it payback for the multiple times they go in public with you with mix-matched neon socks!
Poll Results...
I am sure not many of my few viewers have noticed, but there is a poll to the right of the page! The first poll was about "Who would you like to see in the White House in 2012". The poll has closed, and we have a three way tie... Congrats to Jimmy Buffett, The creators of South Park, and an outspoken mom with PMS! You all won with a whopping 2 votes each! (are you kidding me? if you people vote like this during a real election, we will end up with Ba-roke (sounds like broke) Obama in office again! Do any of us REALLY want that?) Just like real elections, this is a place where your votes are strictly for entertainment purposes! So, with that being said, and my entertainment itch being scratched, I vote that an outspoken mom with pms become the new president! We need someone pissed off, blunt, and tired of the BS to get in office and boot all the morons out!
anyway. i will be changing the poll today to something new. just in case you wanted to know!
anyway. i will be changing the poll today to something new. just in case you wanted to know!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
hahahahaha! oh my- please stop! my ribcage hurts!
Whoever decided to post karaoke videos to youtube is both my hero and my enemy simultaneously. Not only am I being forced to listen to Papa Bear belt out chalkboard-like covers of Save a horse, ride a cowboy, but also also chill bump-inducing versions of old Eddie Money songs...and I dont mean the chill bumps from a song so beautiful it just catches you by suprise. Its more like a horror movie kind of chill bump.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
forgotten meds + mexican food = insane dreams and a hangover feeling the next day...
Ok, so occasionally, my abscent minded self tend to forget my daily doses of sanity. (aka Effexor XR and Vyvanse) Yesterday-which was Saturday-happened to be one of those days. Well, this isnt the first time, and im sure it wont be the last. You would think that after one time of forgetting, I would learn my lesson but NOOOOO! Then one of the baby bears spent the night wtih a friend, and simultaniously the other one had a friend stay with her here. I know, I know, not planned well AT ALL! But anyway. We let the little girl pick where we went to eat last night. And she suggested mexican food. Which, for someone so insistant on mexican food, I must admit my shock when she ordered the chicken strips and french fries! Needless to say though, that between the crazy food so late in the evening-which usually affects my dreams-and the missed doses of sanity, I had some dreams that would make an institutionalized person say "You did whaaa??? in that dream?" And of course there were a couple of them that were long, then some that were short and spontaneous. One, was a design show that my beach house (psh! I wish!) was on being decorated for under 500 bucks! of course, they made it look too psychedelic for my tastes. Ok so maybe when I was 16 it would have been my dream home, but not much these days. But they kept referring to it as "relaxing and soothing". Um. Yeah. but then it became more like a movie and sad but sweet love story but far too much detail for a blog post. the other dreams included me having leukemia that caused me to have a kidney removed, one of me stabbing myself in the hand with a knife to relieve anxiety, wanting to do it again, and mysteriously healing and scars disappearing each time (like on those crazy sci-fi movies my husband watches all the time), and another one that I was addicted to cocaine-but only the blueberry flavored kind. I dont know much about the 'street pharmaceutical' industry, but I am pretty sure that the stuff doesnt come in flavors... but i really do like blueberry, so i supose if i were a junkie, that would be the flavor i would go with! could you just see the dealers who sell it saying "now, for an additional 2.99, i will be happy to flavor that for you so that it will hide the taste from picky users! here's my list of flavors!" anyway... so i took my medicine as soon as i got up this am. however, i have felt hung over for the better part of the day. And i learn that makes you completely useless when the hotwater heater decides to blow and spray water all over your garage! yeah so what if the cat litter box is so wet it turned into a clay brick. you really dont care when the garage is spinning at about 35 miles per hour! so yes people, momma bear has learned her lesson! until i forget again anyway.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
just a little anal... maybe?
School is going pretty good so far. However, being the first time I have taken daytime classes at this 4 year university, i can say that i feel extremely OLD! i seem to be one of the oldest ones in my classes. which, since i am a sophjunsenior, and three of my classes are freshmen level courses that i never took at the 2 year community college, i guess it should be expected that i be surrounded by freshmen and sophmores. But it isnt all that bad as i do see alot more college moms my age than i thought i would, so im not totally alone!
today, in sociology, i received my first group research project EVER! and of course, like i imagined i would, i absolutely hate it! like the stories from many others that i have heard over the years, the group consists of the "motherly" type who wants to, not only, be in control and boss everyone around, but wants to talk to everyone else like they are her children. She didnt realize that while she "is 32, and sooooo experienced" (using my 'high and ever so mighty" voice in my head as i typed that), I will be 32 this year as well. But I felt bad that there was one girl-the softer spoken one of the group- who would make suggestions and no one would really listen to her. she had some very valid points but every time she would speak everyone would turn as if they were hearing an annoying phone ringing somewhere in the distance. of course I (being the somewhat rude person i am) would hear her and, would cut them off and repeat what she said, then immediately smile at her and say that i thought it was a very good or valid point! The funniest part was when this girl started to talk to me like i was another inexperienced freshman who wouldn't know anything about the topic. I politely made it a point in the conversation to drop the information that not only am i 31 years of age, but also the proud mother of a 12 year old 7th grader. it was like i just took off my shirt and bra and danced for them topless. No 31 is not old...to me or most reading this blog. But to an 17-19 year old, i might as well have a foot in the grave. Like i had desparately hoped, their mouths hit the floor just as fast as their pencils. yes, I may feel old when 9:30 is becoming my new bedtime. yes, i recently plucked a mumbleGRAYmumble hair from my head. and yes, i have arthritis in my right knee. but darn it! everyone tells me i look so young. so i thought i would see just how true that really was! so after their initial shock, her tone changed only slightly, but her overwhelming urge to control did not. ugh! Then there was her unspoken team mate that just felt compelled to use long, confusing sentences in order to make simple points in a pathetic effort to make herself feel like an intellectual. But while she may be a very intelligent girl-though not really showing much today-i just feel like she was making the project a lot harder than it really was. doing this alone, i could do this project and have it done and final conclusion complete by Monday morning. I guess that's why I don't like putting my name on work that i have to rely on others efforts and thoughts in order to pass. I work at a certain pace and when others dont, i get annoyed. Then, on top of that, I have an overactive imagination. Example of that: I was the girl at age 7 who had a Barbie that used to rescue GI Joe on a daily basis from certain doom as she flew my older brother's remote controlled helicopter into the warzone of army men vs chess pieces. (what can i say? i grew up in a house with four big brothers-entertainment resources were limited due to finances!) But its that very overactive imagination that tends to earn me A's on research papers and projects. Its that overactive imagination that immediately kicks into overdrive upon receipt of a project such as this one. And maybe i have a little Asperger's Disorder in me too. But if i get it in my mind how something should be done, and i have any responsibility in it getting done, then it needs to look, sound, smell or even taste like it does in my head. If it doesn't, then it must be wrong... so what do you all think? is my urge to email the teacher and beg her never to assign me to another group on a project ever again a little irrational?? is my educational ocd warranted? is this a little asperger's like? or am i just a b***h? whats the point-gonna have to get used to them, especially when i make it to grad school! sigh...
today, in sociology, i received my first group research project EVER! and of course, like i imagined i would, i absolutely hate it! like the stories from many others that i have heard over the years, the group consists of the "motherly" type who wants to, not only, be in control and boss everyone around, but wants to talk to everyone else like they are her children. She didnt realize that while she "is 32, and sooooo experienced" (using my 'high and ever so mighty" voice in my head as i typed that), I will be 32 this year as well. But I felt bad that there was one girl-the softer spoken one of the group- who would make suggestions and no one would really listen to her. she had some very valid points but every time she would speak everyone would turn as if they were hearing an annoying phone ringing somewhere in the distance. of course I (being the somewhat rude person i am) would hear her and, would cut them off and repeat what she said, then immediately smile at her and say that i thought it was a very good or valid point! The funniest part was when this girl started to talk to me like i was another inexperienced freshman who wouldn't know anything about the topic. I politely made it a point in the conversation to drop the information that not only am i 31 years of age, but also the proud mother of a 12 year old 7th grader. it was like i just took off my shirt and bra and danced for them topless. No 31 is not old...to me or most reading this blog. But to an 17-19 year old, i might as well have a foot in the grave. Like i had desparately hoped, their mouths hit the floor just as fast as their pencils. yes, I may feel old when 9:30 is becoming my new bedtime. yes, i recently plucked a mumbleGRAYmumble hair from my head. and yes, i have arthritis in my right knee. but darn it! everyone tells me i look so young. so i thought i would see just how true that really was! so after their initial shock, her tone changed only slightly, but her overwhelming urge to control did not. ugh! Then there was her unspoken team mate that just felt compelled to use long, confusing sentences in order to make simple points in a pathetic effort to make herself feel like an intellectual. But while she may be a very intelligent girl-though not really showing much today-i just feel like she was making the project a lot harder than it really was. doing this alone, i could do this project and have it done and final conclusion complete by Monday morning. I guess that's why I don't like putting my name on work that i have to rely on others efforts and thoughts in order to pass. I work at a certain pace and when others dont, i get annoyed. Then, on top of that, I have an overactive imagination. Example of that: I was the girl at age 7 who had a Barbie that used to rescue GI Joe on a daily basis from certain doom as she flew my older brother's remote controlled helicopter into the warzone of army men vs chess pieces. (what can i say? i grew up in a house with four big brothers-entertainment resources were limited due to finances!) But its that very overactive imagination that tends to earn me A's on research papers and projects. Its that overactive imagination that immediately kicks into overdrive upon receipt of a project such as this one. And maybe i have a little Asperger's Disorder in me too. But if i get it in my mind how something should be done, and i have any responsibility in it getting done, then it needs to look, sound, smell or even taste like it does in my head. If it doesn't, then it must be wrong... so what do you all think? is my urge to email the teacher and beg her never to assign me to another group on a project ever again a little irrational?? is my educational ocd warranted? is this a little asperger's like? or am i just a b***h? whats the point-gonna have to get used to them, especially when i make it to grad school! sigh...
Sunday, August 21, 2011
back to school prayer, from momma bear..
God,
Tomorrow starts the next step on this new journey in my life. A new chapter in this novel that you call my life. The one that you are continuously writing. I just thank you for making the promise to keep yourself in the story; and pray for the strength to allow you to continue to be the author of my book. As much as I like to write, I know you are a far better author than I will ever be, and I know you will write me a much better ending than I could ever write myself.
Thanks for giving me the courange to step out in faith in a way that I have never done before. I pray you consistently replenish that courage, as I tend to lack the ability to make my own. I just hope and pray that in all that I do, your grace and love shine through. I know now that I will stumble from time to time, and I know this world will make me doubt and question things that I shouldn't. But in advance, I thank you for your gift of forgiveness.
May I always remember why I decided to take this path, and maintain perspective as to why I chose the career that I am currently pursuing-to love those who seem 'unlovable'. To bring a bit of light in a world that tends to get a little dark, where people often get lost; and show them that someone does really care and understand as you and I share some light to guide them back out of that dark place... Thank you, Lord for hearing my request and for all the ups and downs in life, as they are part of the path that leads me to you.
In Jesus Christ's beautiful name, Amen...
Tomorrow starts the next step on this new journey in my life. A new chapter in this novel that you call my life. The one that you are continuously writing. I just thank you for making the promise to keep yourself in the story; and pray for the strength to allow you to continue to be the author of my book. As much as I like to write, I know you are a far better author than I will ever be, and I know you will write me a much better ending than I could ever write myself.
Thanks for giving me the courange to step out in faith in a way that I have never done before. I pray you consistently replenish that courage, as I tend to lack the ability to make my own. I just hope and pray that in all that I do, your grace and love shine through. I know now that I will stumble from time to time, and I know this world will make me doubt and question things that I shouldn't. But in advance, I thank you for your gift of forgiveness.
May I always remember why I decided to take this path, and maintain perspective as to why I chose the career that I am currently pursuing-to love those who seem 'unlovable'. To bring a bit of light in a world that tends to get a little dark, where people often get lost; and show them that someone does really care and understand as you and I share some light to guide them back out of that dark place... Thank you, Lord for hearing my request and for all the ups and downs in life, as they are part of the path that leads me to you.
In Jesus Christ's beautiful name, Amen...
Friday, August 19, 2011
Got Potty?
Nothing is an indicator of a great night of good times and drinks with friends like waking up the next afternoon to the smell of urine, and learning of its source-from a friends facebook video post! I bet their parents are so proud! I am so glad there was no such thing as social media, or cell phones with digital cameras during my 'party' years! Not that I really had a problem with peeing in random places but when alcohol is involved, everyone who has ever partaken has done some embarrassing things. Although there was that one time in a bathroom wastebasket at a party-BUT, there is a perfectly logical explanation for that! However, its a long, boring story really, and I don't want to put you sleep with dreary details...
Anyway, maybe the mother's of these fine individuals should have tossed some fruit loops in the toilet when potty training them so they would know the right place to aim? Maybe? Or, at the least, just kept a few extra Pull-Ups on hand. You know, for those unavoidable accidents?
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Public Service Announcement...Please avoid the Crack!
This is a public service announcement from Momma Bears against Crack (MBAC).
Moms, please don't let this be you! We all have heard the warnings from our own mothers, or motherly figures. We have been told the horror stories, but the image below is proof that this problem is REAL. We think that it cant happen in our neighborhoods, but I am a witness to the fact that it is much closer to home than we want to believe. Crack. No, not the drug kind, the butt kind. It happens to the best of us. As much as any 'cool' mom out there, I LOVE my low-rise jeans. I have never been able to stand pants that go remotely close to my belly button. However, I am always cautious to either A-wear a longer shirt, B-wear a belt, C-pants that fit, or D-all the above. These two simple precautions can help stop the spread of this devastating epidemic. How on earth is it possible to not feel the draft and be totally oblivious to the fact that everyone sitting within 6 feet behind you in all directions can see your (as my best friend's adorable 4 year old refers to as...) "coin slot"? You don't know how hard it was to resist walking by and dropping a quarter down there... it was tough, but Momma-Bear was a good girl. Being at my kids school function was my main source of strength... So, I did what any self-respecting mom out there would do. I created this here public service announcement and posted it on the internet instead! This way, I could help to do my part in avoiding more uncomfortable scenery like this in the future, for everyone! Moms, or even the childless women out there, of all shapes and sizes... I encourage you-if its the low-rise pants that you prefer, keep rockin those babies to your heart's content. But remember, buying the right size DOES make a big difference, and please be aware of the draft. If you aren't careful, this could be you!! Because if I can see this from ten feet away, everyone else behind you can see it too! And I know ALL will agree-that just ain't cute!
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| Oh, and guys, this means you too. Lets leave the plumber cracks to the actual plumbers! |
Love Like No Otter: Puppy & Otter Play Together Like Old Pals - The Daily Treat: Animal Planet
Awe! how cute! Nothing like a little animal play to make you want to smile! However, I must admit-not ever seeing a River Otter in my life, I would have probably freaked out if I would have seen it in my yard playing with my dog... I dont think it would have ended so well, as I probably would have loaded Barry's pistol! Just glad it wasn't me! (click the pink link below)
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Note to self: Practice what you preach (please see day 3 post...)
So soon, I realize that I have forgotten my own advise. In actuality, I dont think ever really knew what my identity was-until now. Not in the sense that I didnt know who I was, but the fact I allowed my jobs to determine my value. I worked my butt off for so many years, with very little appreciation. And now that I have no job, its almost like I have this insane need to compensate here at home. That would probably be the reason why I cant allow myself to go back to sleep when the kids go off to school in the morning. I told myself yesterday that I needed to take a nap-just one hour. I felt like I needed to get Papa-Bear's ok to do so-of course, I just know that he was thinking that I was a little bit crazy in doing so! It was like have been feeling guilty in not working. And even after he gave me said 'blessing', I couldnt do it. I couldnt go to sleep. All I seem to have done over the past week and a half is clean. Vacuum, scrub, toss out, etc. and I cant tell much of a difference in the house. And, if thats not bad enough, this obscessive desire for clean and order just cost me 95.00. Apparently, even if you have an a/c filter that says 3 months on the package, excessive dusting and vacuuming can quickly turn it to a one month filter. After a week of cleaning and the fact that the filter is already a month and a half old, the filter was pretty nasty. All that dirt on the filter will quickly freeze a brand new ac unit up in a heartbeat. So, all that cleaning, and I had the privilege of paying the ac guy almost 100.00 JUST to tell me to change my filter. So, while I will still continue to clean and get this house in order, I am backing off a little. No more stressing, no more extreme deadlines. After all. It wont bring my kids grades up, it wont build my daughter's self esteem, when she needs it boosted the most.. And, Its not like my house will cave in because of a little dust, right? I would like to think of it as its the dust that is keeping my house together. Mainly because I am not excessively stressing over its mere existance and, instead, I am spending my time focusing on my family and getting my mind free and rested to dive into yet another semester-and do so keeping God as the main point of my focus. Besides... my doctor HOOKED ME UP on some samples of my oh-so-awesome nasal spray for my spring and fall allergies... Dust cringes at this stuff! So why worry-right?
First thing that should have been added to my new schedule, is sadly going to be the last ( last to date anyhow). What is that, you may be mumbling to yourself? My 30 minutes to an hour in total quiet and prayer-something I need more than anything, has taken the back seat until now. Just like us moms to put our needs last, huh?
First thing that should have been added to my new schedule, is sadly going to be the last ( last to date anyhow). What is that, you may be mumbling to yourself? My 30 minutes to an hour in total quiet and prayer-something I need more than anything, has taken the back seat until now. Just like us moms to put our needs last, huh?
Monday, August 15, 2011
FYI...
Had an inquiry about comments so just thought I would ease people's minds concerning this topic. I dont mind comments at all.. In fact, thats why I enabled the comments! This is a public blog, however, so be nice! Remember what our mothers taught us... if you cant say something nice, well you better be able to hold your own because you run the risk of getting your teeth knocked out if you talk trash to the wrong person! That sounds right huh? Anyway... Working Moms, Stay at Home Moms, Student Moms---we all are no better than the other. This is from someone who has very recently just hopped the fence from one side to the other. So I would prefer only helpful and uplifting content! However, if you talk trash to someone, and they make you feel dumb, I will not intervene as long as it remains clean! I may not have mouth that would fit in on an Orbit Gum commercial, but I am trying to get closer and closer to God as I start on this new chapter in my life, and how can I let him shine through me with comments full of f-bombs! Anyhow. I hope everyone continues to enjoy the blog! And pass along to your friends! Thanks!
-Momma Bear
-Momma Bear
Sunday, August 14, 2011
and on to the next week...
Ahhh... quiet. The peaceful bliss that most moms (and dads) love, but too often forget the sound of. Pappa bear took the baby bears over to his moms den while I continued on my pursuit of clean. I cant help but feel a little nuts after I caught myself vaccuming the walls. Yes, vaccuming the walls. Dyson and I were hitting all the nooks and cranies, and as we worked our way into the kitchen I noticed dust on the walls. But before you think "eww!" and contact CPS, let me inform you that I have textured walls in my kitchen. And, besides... you stay plastered to the laptop while working 40 + a week and taking TWO internet courses during the summer semester, and lets see how clean your textured walls are!!! So the cleaning should-hopefully-taper off a little this week. And then I will do what many at home parents often do. I'm going to Starbucks! That Verdi Mocha Frappuccino with no whip cream will taste even better knowing I have a house that will look and feel nice and clean! Not showroom perfect, but neat. And come this time next week, I will be getting my books ready to start the new semester the next day. Bring it on! I am READY! Yes, you moms know that last line well... borrowed from the little yellow guy---ooh! Just had a thought-I wonder if he works better than the magic eraser? Hmmm? Probably not. Well I guess I should make sure I have plenty of work clothes for the upcoming work week! Did I mention the fact that I love my new work attire? Guess I better enjoy it while I can as this job thing is probably only temporary-maybe sooner, maybe later... who knows. Just leaving it all up to the big boss upstairs. After all, this is where he has lead me so far! But I want to do one thing while I am off-something I never did because banking frowns upon it... I soo want a nose stud... you know those little tiny ones on the side of the nose! NO, not one in the middle part. I am not ok with looking like a bull. I try to avoid things that make me look like I should be following a herd of beef...
Saturday, August 13, 2011
what day is it now?
Not necessarily certain what day this makes now, but I know I still feel like I am on vacation, and destined to have to return to work on Monday. Subconsciously I catch myself thinking "Darn, only a day and a half before I have to go back!" But I can honestly say that I have learned a lot over the past week. I have learned that kids are pigs, there is a reason they tell you to cut dogs hair WITH the hair growth and not against. I have found many more places that require dusting than just the mantle and pictures. You know-over door frames, baseboards. I have learned why paper pictures have become obsolete. I have learned that I have more picture frames that go on tables, than I have places to put them. I learned that my Dyson reaches places I never thought existed, but can not reach the top of a 19 foot cathedral ceiling. I learned that should you chose the Dyson to clean little, tiny styrofoam beads, it may be a good idea to spray the inside of the canister with a little static guard first. I even learned that the shiny squishy pillows you can get at just about any store that sells home decor and bedding, are full of billions of little, tiny styrofoam beads. Another thing on those little squishy pillows-Cats love to claw them up to shreds. So while I have learned alot about cleaning, I still have alot to learn about laying the law down on these kids. However, I feel as if I am rapidly coming closer and closer to the proverbial line. You moms know which one I am referring too-that one that lies above our heads, the one we ways hit with our hands as we say "I have had it up to here"... Yeah, that one. I am almost there....
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Day 3... the bathrooms... whos worse. teen girls or dads?
Ok so today is the day I decided to scrub bathrooms. While still have much more to do, I managed to make some progress. The bathroom located in my room that is shared by my husband and I wasnt too bad. But when I opened the shower curtain in the girl's bathroom (you know, the one that is also used by company when they come over), I saw the reason why my kids have been asking to use my shower instead of their own. I must say that I am thankful for my solid fabric shower curtain that hides messes, while subtly adding that hint of happy colors! Wow. I am officially embarrassed for anyone who would have seen it had they came over unannounced. Everything from remnants of my tween's last leg-scaping, to various concoctions of face wash/bodywash/shampoo/conditioner. And it all was this crazy blue color-which none of it was blue to begin with, and leads me to wonder if maybe there was some household cleaner in any of it some how... Wait-what color was the toilet bowl gel cleaner? But have no fear. It was nothing that a good Force Flex bag, Clorox Wipes and a Mr. Clean Magic Bathroom Eraser couldnt tackle. And let me say that Mr. Clean and I have developed a beautiful relationship. His eraser is really magic! Oh how he managed to get the permanent marker off of the plastic Q-tip holder, I do not know; but I am forever grateful just the same!
Now our bathroom mainly needs a good floor cleaning. My best friend came to visit while her ac was getting worked on, because here in the mommyhood, its 109 degrees IN THE SHADE! So she kept me company while I was cleaning. And together we came up with a question. How on earth do men manage to get pee under the hinges of the toilet seat, on the wall beside the toilet, AND on the little caps that cover the bolts that bolt the toilet to the floor??? Really? You can drink a few beers and write your name, legibly in the snow, but you cant hit the middle of a round circle from less than 2 feet away that happens to be big enough for me to fall into at 2:30 am? We cant understand it... But please, guys, dont blame it on 'size', cause well, lets face it... most likely, you're lying.
But once we got over the amazement of how men cant aim, yet my dog knows that if he cant hold it anymore after being trapped indoors all day long, to go to the exact same spot in the kitchen where no one walks, we started chatting about other things. And one of the things the conversation reminded me of something I really havent thought about but makes alot of sense. It is something easy to lose sight of, but at the same time very important in the role of being a mom-working or not.
All to often, in the chaos that is managing a family, moms everywhere of every kind tend to forget about one person. Themselves. They become the cook, the maid, the chauffer, the therapist, the referee, the ATM, the banker, the nurse, and the fix-it person. Those who work also become the wife, the student, or the dedicated employee thats overworked and underappreciated (under paid), on top of all the previously mentioned titles. But they forget who they are aside from all those important things. They inadvertantly allow themselves to become what they do. And its when you lose sight of you that you begin to feel out of control. You become burned out to the point that you cant maintain everything you work hard for. When you do take "mom breaks" you dont even know what to do. You dont even know what you like to do for fun because you forgot who you are, remember? Although I rarely have time for it, I love taking pictures, and I recently discovered the Painting with a Twist class.. Not for everyone, but I learned that I like painting. I love to drink coffee and chat with friends, I enjoy school because its a major I care about. So I have to remember to remind myself that I need to keep my identity. Moms, if you forget that your first name is NOT 'momma', 'honey', 'baby', or 'mooooooom' (with that whiney tone), or if you only remember your first name because of what it says on your name badge or your signature on your work email, then its time to get out there and rediscover who you are. Not only do you deserve it, but it will benefit your kids to see you taking an interest in something and utilizing that something to channel stress. Besides. If you see your job as you, and put all of your self worth in your jobs then you are at risk. Sometimes, we are thrown the unexpected in jobs-paid or parenting- that isnt so pretty. When something fails, for lack of better term, then we see it as a reflection of ourselves, when its NOT. And that, my friends, can be like letting a 3 year old run unattended in a glass shop...with a slingshot and pockets loaded with ammunition.... just a thought!
Now our bathroom mainly needs a good floor cleaning. My best friend came to visit while her ac was getting worked on, because here in the mommyhood, its 109 degrees IN THE SHADE! So she kept me company while I was cleaning. And together we came up with a question. How on earth do men manage to get pee under the hinges of the toilet seat, on the wall beside the toilet, AND on the little caps that cover the bolts that bolt the toilet to the floor??? Really? You can drink a few beers and write your name, legibly in the snow, but you cant hit the middle of a round circle from less than 2 feet away that happens to be big enough for me to fall into at 2:30 am? We cant understand it... But please, guys, dont blame it on 'size', cause well, lets face it... most likely, you're lying.
But once we got over the amazement of how men cant aim, yet my dog knows that if he cant hold it anymore after being trapped indoors all day long, to go to the exact same spot in the kitchen where no one walks, we started chatting about other things. And one of the things the conversation reminded me of something I really havent thought about but makes alot of sense. It is something easy to lose sight of, but at the same time very important in the role of being a mom-working or not.
All to often, in the chaos that is managing a family, moms everywhere of every kind tend to forget about one person. Themselves. They become the cook, the maid, the chauffer, the therapist, the referee, the ATM, the banker, the nurse, and the fix-it person. Those who work also become the wife, the student, or the dedicated employee thats overworked and underappreciated (under paid), on top of all the previously mentioned titles. But they forget who they are aside from all those important things. They inadvertantly allow themselves to become what they do. And its when you lose sight of you that you begin to feel out of control. You become burned out to the point that you cant maintain everything you work hard for. When you do take "mom breaks" you dont even know what to do. You dont even know what you like to do for fun because you forgot who you are, remember? Although I rarely have time for it, I love taking pictures, and I recently discovered the Painting with a Twist class.. Not for everyone, but I learned that I like painting. I love to drink coffee and chat with friends, I enjoy school because its a major I care about. So I have to remember to remind myself that I need to keep my identity. Moms, if you forget that your first name is NOT 'momma', 'honey', 'baby', or 'mooooooom' (with that whiney tone), or if you only remember your first name because of what it says on your name badge or your signature on your work email, then its time to get out there and rediscover who you are. Not only do you deserve it, but it will benefit your kids to see you taking an interest in something and utilizing that something to channel stress. Besides. If you see your job as you, and put all of your self worth in your jobs then you are at risk. Sometimes, we are thrown the unexpected in jobs-paid or parenting- that isnt so pretty. When something fails, for lack of better term, then we see it as a reflection of ourselves, when its NOT. And that, my friends, can be like letting a 3 year old run unattended in a glass shop...with a slingshot and pockets loaded with ammunition.... just a thought!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Mission One: Clean House-Days 1 and 2
So it seems that the mission is not going according to plan. When I turned in my notice, I had a plan in my mind. Come home, throw down my boxes of neatly packed desk stuffs that I had accumulated over the course of the past 9 years, and lay down the law. In my mental picture, I was an army general getting her troops ready for battle-the battle of school. I even had Princess, the cat, in check. But now here we are. That moment has come and gone as of this past Friday. My (less-than) neatly packed box is somewhat unpacked and opened on my bedroom floor, while the other one is still in the backseat of the car. I may actually keep it there as it serves as a great divider between the girls in the back of my little Civic. I have managed to get the laundry caught up after being confined to the computer and books for the majority of my waking time during this past summer semester. 9 weeks of laundry breeding like a cage full of bunnies tends to harbor some interesting smells. Aack! (thats my gagging sound). So far, all has not quite gone according to plan, but so far, one idea I had about all of this has been realized, just as I had imagined it would... Thats the realization of the importance of the first day of school. At least how it is perceived by all of the stay-at home-mothers I know. Come tomorrow morning, moms all over the mommyhood will put their kids on the bus, and the bus driver will see a slight tear in their eye as they shut the door to cart the kiddies off to school. But it will not be, necessarily, a tear of sadness; but a tear of joy. Cries of "WOO HOOO!" will be heard across the mommyhood as if a sense of freedom is being experienced, because it will be. Freedom of the moms who, for the past two and a half months have endured hours of "Mom, I'm bored!", "There's nothing to do!", "She stole my iPod", or my favorite "You're trying to ruin my life, Moooom!" Freedom, from the constant mess making, the repeating of phrases that request picked up shoes or getting out of the fridge. Freedom from the arguments over one out of a dozen video games to choose from, and freedom from having to wash the paint out of the dog's white fur because the kids felt a little artistic and paper just wasnt good enough. But you mothers out there must admit. While at the moments of experience, we may not always appreciate the captivity of summer; but its when we look back on it and reminice, we do stop and smile. We smile because these are the things that remind us of something important. Most men would have crumbled under the pressure after the first week. So moms out there, working or not, raise your coffee mug in cheers! Your children will go off to school-hopefully-with memories of a great summer, and you can return to the relm of cleaning house, chores, or in my case school. Working moms, you can work easier knowing your kids are at school and not sneaking friends over while you are away during the day, worrying over whether you should have increased the homeowner's insurance, or if they and the unauthorized visitors have eaten you out of house and home in your abscence. So with that being said, this house wont clean itself... and I have under two weeks to get this place in order before MY school starts!
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